We often talk about “believing in” or “trusting” someone. In many cases, however, we are not actually trusting the person as they are; rather, we are placing excessive expectations on an idealized image we have constructed of them. When we feel betrayed because our expectations were not met, it is usually not that the other person betrayed us, but simply that they did not possess the specific character or ability we assumed they had. We have merely witnessed a previously hidden side of that person. True trust begins when, upon seeing this new side, we can accept it, thinking, “Ah, so this is also a part of who they are.”

When we arbitrarily define our impressions of others and things do not go as planned, we easily lose ourselves in the dense forest of human relations. Cultivating a firm, unshakable inner core is incredibly difficult. Because we feel anxious and insecure, we speak of “trusting” as a way to cling to our own idealized success or to a perfect projection of someone else. However, leaning heavily on another person often means placing a one-sided burden on them. While relying on others can feel easy and comfortable for us, the person supporting us must work many times harder. This is not genuine trust; it is the imposing of excessive expectations. In Buddhism, we call these selfish attachments “blind passions” (Bonno).

Our founder, Shinran Shonin, spoke of trust in this profound way: “Even if I were to fall into hell as a result of chanting the Nembutsu taught by Honen Shonin, I would have no regrets. This is because, no matter how hard I try, I am completely incapable of reaching the Pure Land through my own self-powered efforts. If I were capable of reaching the Pure Land on my own merit, and yet fell into hell because I trusted the Nembutsu, only then could I say I was deceived. But since hell is my only destination anyway, I choose to recite the Nembutsu, trusting my revered teacher’s words.” In other words, to truly trust someone means being willing to accept whatever misunderstandings, deceptions, or harms may arise from them. Is this not precisely the nature of the trust between a parent and a child? For us, as Shinran Shonin teaches, Amida Buddha is the ultimate, trustworthy presence we can rely upon wholeheartedly.